Did you know the Friday before Mother’s Day is Military Spouse Appreciation Day?
Well, neither did I, until Ann Marie over at Household6Diva reminded me. Good to know the Calendar powers that be have got us covered!
And I thought the only calendar day I got was my birthday...
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Sunday, May 6, 2012
On Death and Dying
Last year I lost a dear friend to an uncurable form of cancer. She was in her mid-20s.
There is so much I didn't know about her while she was alive and knowing now has made me love her even more. I didn't know that she kept a blog about her journey through her diagnosis. Last night, I found the blog and read every single entry.
This made me think about how much I think I might know about my friends and family, but that I really don't. And that I should try even harder.
I've been thinking alot about death and dying lately. As a journalist that's alot of what we see and report. It doesn't help that Superman is now dawning the Blue and each newsroom owns a dreaded police scanner. Every call for backup, every "man down," I hear. In some ways, they've all become a superman to me. So Superman is not thousands of miles away. Sometimes the danger is just a few towns over.
It's made me paranoid I think. But I tell people all the time that this has been an ongoing fear pre-Blue. In fact, we had a not-so-average wedding planning experience. While we were choosing between roses and peonies, silk and chiffon, we were also filling out life insurance policies and writing a Will. That's because we thought Superman was shipping out after the wedding.
It took us back to what was important.
Now, if I let my thoughts get the better of me, I start to spin. When Superman stays late at work and I wake up to find he's not here, I think, what's the hold up. No phone call, no text, did I miss that knock at the door, I should've stayed awake, why didn't I jot that emergency number down, there's no recovering, I will never marry, the sun will never shine, pray, pray, pray.
Many times during her dying days, it seemed like my friend did the same. Woulda, shoulda, coulda. But she really did something about it. I can't say it all because the list of the miraculous things she did to make the world right before she left us would go on forever . But I'll share one insight she offered that resonates. Only when things go wrong, or when we're at our most vulnerable do we realize what is truly important. But what if we could keep that state during the highs and lows? I mean, what if we could pray at times when we didn't have to ask for something.
I want to live my life so that I don't have to fill out life insurance policies and Wills to realize that floral purchasing decisions are not the end of the world. Things that matter. Things that don't.
That is my resolution to keep.
"And when trouble touches man, he calls Us lying down and sitting down and standing up: then when We remove his 'trouble, he passes on as if he never called Us at the time of any trouble touching him; Thus it has been made fair seeming to the extravagance of their deeds." [Surat Yunus, Ayah 12]
There is so much I didn't know about her while she was alive and knowing now has made me love her even more. I didn't know that she kept a blog about her journey through her diagnosis. Last night, I found the blog and read every single entry.
This made me think about how much I think I might know about my friends and family, but that I really don't. And that I should try even harder.
I've been thinking alot about death and dying lately. As a journalist that's alot of what we see and report. It doesn't help that Superman is now dawning the Blue and each newsroom owns a dreaded police scanner. Every call for backup, every "man down," I hear. In some ways, they've all become a superman to me. So Superman is not thousands of miles away. Sometimes the danger is just a few towns over.
It's made me paranoid I think. But I tell people all the time that this has been an ongoing fear pre-Blue. In fact, we had a not-so-average wedding planning experience. While we were choosing between roses and peonies, silk and chiffon, we were also filling out life insurance policies and writing a Will. That's because we thought Superman was shipping out after the wedding.
It took us back to what was important.
Now, if I let my thoughts get the better of me, I start to spin. When Superman stays late at work and I wake up to find he's not here, I think, what's the hold up. No phone call, no text, did I miss that knock at the door, I should've stayed awake, why didn't I jot that emergency number down, there's no recovering, I will never marry, the sun will never shine, pray, pray, pray.
Many times during her dying days, it seemed like my friend did the same. Woulda, shoulda, coulda. But she really did something about it. I can't say it all because the list of the miraculous things she did to make the world right before she left us would go on forever . But I'll share one insight she offered that resonates. Only when things go wrong, or when we're at our most vulnerable do we realize what is truly important. But what if we could keep that state during the highs and lows? I mean, what if we could pray at times when we didn't have to ask for something.
I want to live my life so that I don't have to fill out life insurance policies and Wills to realize that floral purchasing decisions are not the end of the world. Things that matter. Things that don't.
That is my resolution to keep.
"And when trouble touches man, he calls Us lying down and sitting down and standing up: then when We remove his 'trouble, he passes on as if he never called Us at the time of any trouble touching him; Thus it has been made fair seeming to the extravagance of their deeds." [Surat Yunus, Ayah 12]
~Miss you, friend. You are always in the deepest most sincere part of my heart ~
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Every Year, Forever
I've been slowly organizing our home since moving in. Moving is the perfect opportunity to sort out life -- keep the things that matter. Toss the things that don't.
Today, I flipped through an old notebook I was unpacking and this dropped out:
My first anniversary card from Superman.
Superman was supposed to be in Afghanistan for our first wedding anniversary -- but he wasn't. He was home. We didn't do anything earth-shatteringly amazing on our anniversary like a girl would imagine her first wedding anniversary to be like. Instead, we drove 200 miles to a small town for Superman's Blue orientation day. Then, we turned around and went right back home. Makes sense for us, unfortunately. Work work work... all. the. time.
The best part of the day was getting that note from Superman. I don't get those as often anymore. It reminded me of when he was deployed --how I'd get notes all the time, and it meant a lot. Not that I'm wishing for more deployments just for a few words, but in this age of electronic everything, there's really something to be said about sentences on a hearty piece of paper. Tears right at the heartstrings of this writer.
I can't wait to get one of these every year, forever.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Welcome Back. Done Right.
It's funny how many things we took for granted before moving to the Apple. The list is long, but one of which was our backyard.
I think we needed the Apple to realize how much place and space we have in our little suburban heaven.
This summer, we are definitely not taking our place for granted. By no means have I any desire to turn into ms. Suzy Homemaker or a Stepford wife (let's keep it real, folks). But I truly think that being here has given us a renewed sense of spirit.
With that said... scenes from our first BBQ of the summah!!!
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