Dispatches from a go-gettin journalist. Because not all Army wives live behind the lines...

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Home(not so be-)coming

Warning: I'm about to make a sweeping generalization about civilians...

When civilians hear 'military', they either think deployment, or homecoming.  And while I try so hard to give you all a glimpse of the in-between's, I'm going to feed right into this generalization and chat about homecoming -- in a not so banal way. Whether it's a full-on deployment or a "mini"-deployment, here are my homecoming words of wisdom about I have learned first-hand along the way:

1. Ditch any idea you had in your deployment-mode mind that your legs will always be perfectly shaven.

You probably have this picture in your mind of a stunning well-kept classy woman running to the arms of her man. Yes. That happens. But that being well-kept, is well-hard-to-do with a man always in your territory. Long gone will be the days of hour long pampering events. Next time we'll keep it up! we say. But let's face the facts. Those minutes will be replaced by keeping up with the ever-dwindling food supply at home, since there's now a Yogi Bear occupying your space.

2. Being a full household again will be filled with even more amazing moments than you ever imagined and it'll make you want to do something "the hills are alive"-esque. It will also be a complete disappointment filled with its share of embarrassing meltdowns. There will be no in-between.

You probably have this picture in your mind of a stunning well-kept classy woman running to the arms of her man. Yes. That happens. But emotions and expectations are so high that when you're happy, it's like the whole world is bowing down to you. And when you're mad, then good Lord people watch out because it's about to rain on your heads. As much as we all try, there's really no smooth comfortable transitioning back to normalcy. At least not at first. Think PMS to Nth degree. Duration varies. For me, it's about 3 weeks.

3.  Accept the fact that household-appropriate four-letter words like "shop"(ping) will be substituted with "other" four-letter words that, before you know it, will become temporarily household-appropriate. (I can't believe I just said that).

You probably have this picture in your mind of a stunning well-kept classy woman running to the arms of her man. Yes. That happens. But even for the classy brood, those three weeks of rollercoaster PMS cannot be complete without a temporary vocabulary toolbox. There are some things from the military you want to take home with you, like... well, I can't think of anything at the moment. There are others, like the soldier-to-soldier talk, that has to be conditioned out of Superman. That is, if I don't catch it myself. We get poopy mouths. And it gets bad, people. Sometimes it even slips into phone conversations with my own mother. Duration varies.

F-bombs away, B***s.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Do You Think About 17?

When you think about me, 
Do you think about 17? 
Do you think about my old jeep
Think about those stars in the sky
Funny how a melody 
Sounds like a memory 
Like the soundtrack to a July Saturday night... 

I was driving home a few days ago and this song came on the radio. It took me right back to 17. And how I was so in love with a boy that I was so sure I was going to marry. 

I didn't marry him. 

I was so sure that I would stay connected with him for the rest of my life. 

I'm not. In fact, I'm not even sure where he is now. I know though, that he's married to someone else. 

And that's okay. 

Because at 17, there was no one else. It was probably the most carefree year of our life. There was a jeep. There were July Saturday nights. And looking back there are so many innocent good feelings about all of it. Mix tapes. 

I know there are so many of us who have married our childhood best friends, our high school sweethearts, even our middle school sweethearts. 

I am so glad I didn't. 

I needed the time to grow and change, even though it was a hard landing. I didn't know then that I needed all things Superman. I needed Army. I needed Apple. I needed Bean. I needed Blue. I needed all things Superman. I needed this life right here. 

I do look back sometimes and think about where we both are now, and how things may have been different. Not in a pining way. But more of a way of reminding myself that there's a lot of things I don't know. If you asked me at 17 where I would be today, I would've never formed the thought enough to say "Army." Or "Superman."

I have a feeling that I won't be able to shape the answer to that same question now when I look back in another decade. 

I did bump into him a few years ago, when Superman and I were engaged. When you come off a hard landing, there are so many things you think of saying or doing when you happen run into each other again. Maybe out of anger, maybe because Destiny's Child sang that you should. But I didn't do any of that. I couldn't. I had Superman and I really felt like I'm the one that made out in that situation. I felt like I had everything. I still do. 

Thank you, 17, for existing so that I could feel this way now. 

(The best part of this performance is Keith Urban singing along.)

He gets it. ;)

But here's the official video 
I bumped into you by happenstance 
You wouldn't even know who I am
But if I whispered your name 
I bet there'd still be a spark... 

Thursday, April 26, 2012


Tonight I'm sitting on our bed, writing my weekly column. The bedroom has a dim glow from our lamps that now have a home on our brand new side tables. I hate overhead lighting and for the first time since moving in, I don't have to turn it on.

Today, I comfortably worked from home in my office, finished all my errands, cleaned, wrote a column.

Superman worked his magic on the kitchen tile, put on his blue, and went off into the night.

The bedroom is new. The kitchen is new. Being "married-married" is new.

This morning, Superman crept into my office while I was staring at a blank Word document, wondering whether I was really going to write something worth reading, or even have the brains to write anything at all (the usual feeling of a writer). He sat next to me in my chair, held down the SHIFT key and typed this:


And now, more than ever before I feel at home. The lease doesn't end. The movers aren't coming. The deployment is over. There are no life-altering dates to look forward to, or to not look forward to. We're high on family and friends.

This is home.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Food? Yes? No?

I'm contemplating whether it's a good idea to go grocery shopping right now when our kitchen looks like this: 

Oh. Did I neglect to mention we have 30+ people coming over next weekend for a BBQ? 

I've been on a business trip these last few days so I haven't seen this yet. But today, I came home to it. Superman hasn't been home yet to witness, how do I say... "l'attaque panique."

You'll find me in the living room. *breathe* The only room currently not under reno/deco-vation. *breathe* All doors closed. *breathe* Watching 60 Minutes. *breathe* Followed by Dateline. *breathe*  

Thank the Lord for newsmagazine shows. 

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Starting Over

Confession of a city girl turned burb wifey -- owning a home is amazing. 

The Super household is undergoing a massive home decor overhaul. I get to use my fashion/decor sense, and Superman gets to use his big man tools. The best part is we can do whatever our big hearts desire to the place, because it's OURS. So that's just what we've been doing. 

Sometimes, you have to go the distance to make the house fabu. 

Even if it means looking like Flavah Flav...

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Men in Uniform

Men in Uniform. Oh, yeah. Everything that phrase sounds like in your head is exactly what it's like in real life. Trust me.

*Cue some jam from a chippendales routine*

Well, everything except one thing... dry cleaning.

Now that Superman wears two uniforms -- the Military, and the Blue -- my world personifies the sexy man in uniform (I must've done something right!) But it also means that we practically live at the dry cleaners. Every day we have a new patch to sew on, pants to take in, uniforms to clean, shirts to press...

So I'm spilling the dark side of  the "man in uniform" -- here it is:

Sexy is pain.

There. I said it. There's a lot of behind the scenes upkeep behind a man in uniform. And the Super household gets that times two!

Lately, the sweet messages I would get written by Superman have now been replaced by notes like this:

A not so subtle reminder to get my bee-hind to the dry cleaners or Superman will be pantless. Come to think of it, that doesn't sound all that bad to me...

Monday, April 16, 2012

Costa Rica!

On our honeymoon, we took our giddy love to Belize...

On our first anniversary, we cruised the Meditteranean... 

And on our 2nd anniversary, we will be conquering Costa Rica! 

And by conquer, I mean 7 days of outdoor jungle camping, rainforest hiking, white water rafting surging rapids, zip-lining, mountain biking, canoeing, snorkeling... 

No swanky hotels. No air conditioning. No sleeping in. This itinerary ain't for the weak of heart. No, but seriously though. We were told since the journey was so intense, we couldn't book the trip unless we were medically cleared. 

And I figure, after two years of bliss -- we're going to need to challenge our relationship in some "Amazing Race" fashion. 

Superman is thrilled, and not so thrilled at the same time. I promised him I'd find a way to get a pina colada in his hands at some point during the trip -- even if it means having to crack open a coconut with my own bare hands. Suck it up, Superman and get pumped! 

Here's a preview of the majesty we may see: 

Sunday, April 15, 2012


All this time The Sun never says to the Earth, 

"You owe me." 

What happens 
With a love like that, 
It lights the whole sky.” ― Hafez

Saturday, April 14, 2012


Lately, I've been doing less of this... 


And more of this... 

That's me - working. And contrary to popular belief, it feels good to say that. Because when I knew I had to leave the Apple, I had no idea what the future would hold for me. I was scared I would have to give up one of my loves. 

But I didn't. 

I admit that it hasn't been easy. I've had to work harder to prove myself; and starting at a new company has made it seems like I'm starting over... but I knew all of this. Moving meant I accepted the challenge. I have never worked harder in my life. 

I'm in love with my career; I'm in love with Superman's career; I'm in love with our home, I'm in love with having Superman home; I'm in love with our friends and family and our life...