Driven

Lately, I've been doing less of this... 

ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz...........

And more of this... 

That's me - working. And contrary to popular belief, it feels good to say that. Because when I knew I had to leave the Apple, I had no idea what the future would hold for me. I was scared I would have to give up one of my loves. 

But I didn't. 

I admit that it hasn't been easy. I've had to work harder to prove myself; and starting at a new company has made it seems like I'm starting over... but I knew all of this. Moving meant I accepted the challenge. I have never worked harder in my life. 

I'm in love with my career; I'm in love with Superman's career; I'm in love with our home, I'm in love with having Superman home; I'm in love with our friends and family and our life...

City Mouse, Country Mouse

I can't believe that less than a week ago I was in the biggest city in the U.S. and now I'm in a city where they've got country music programmed on radio "speed dial."

I'm in Indianapolis on a business trip for a few days. I had a mini panic attack my first night in the Bean -- our neighborhood is quiet. Too quite, I thought. Quiet enough to become a prime setting for a "Dateline Mystery" or "20/20" episode.

I totally believe that this trip to an even smaller city is God's way of just deflating me from the rush of the Apple. Case in point: When the Starbucks barista tried to engage in small talk, I gave him a dirty "you're a stranger" look. In the Apple, that look would've earned me an A+. Then I realized, I'm in the Midwest, and people are nice because they are nice. And people can be nice, because they are nice.

Drop the 'tude, burb girl.

Drowning

I'm drowning in this. 

And there's still so much to be done. More than just boxes -- life is changing faster than I can pack it all up and ship it!  A few days ago I found out I won another award for my work, I've been invited to speak again at the largest national conference in my field, I have a major shoot coming up, two huge meetings that if I even think about who it's with I may vomitron, and I'm continuing to work full-time right into the big move.

I'm blessed. I'm so blessed.

Moving day is just a week away.  So I've gotta hang it up for a while until we settle in and slow down. Who am I kidding -- us? slow down?

Outside My Window

No time is busier in the Apple than when you're trying to get out. 

 Ever since I put in my "non-notice" at work, my life has been a whirlwind. I call it a "non-notice" because even though I'm relocating, I won't be leaving the company after all. In fact, I'm signing on to cover all of New England -- which is my dream dream dream!!!  Let's just call it an offer I couldn't refuse. 

So besides getting my new gear worked out, full-time job-ing, packing, and going out with friends almost every night... I've been working on making sure the Bean is ready for me, and I'm ready for the Bean. 

There's a whole world outside my window, and I have no idea what's in store, but I'm working my tush off to make sure it'll be great.

As for Gatto? Well, she has given up trying to keep up with me... 

Holiday Hold Up

When you live in the Apple, it's hard to believe that the holidays are considered the "slow" period.

Everyone's working overtime to make sure that the store fronts have the most magnificent scenes to date, the world's largest menorah is ceremoniously lit 8 nights in a row, there are at least 7 tree lighting ceremonies all within 20 mile radius, and the Nutcracker, the Rockettes, and Hansel and Gretel all go off without a hitch at least three times a day. More Appleites are choosing to rent-a-Santa instead of waiting in the long line at Macy's (yes, I heard this fact from a few moms I went out to lunch with a few days ago), not to mention there are more Scrooges than Santas running this town -- meaning that those of us who live here year round are still working overtime.
 
There's no slowing down in Manhattan.

I've got two chapters of a book to wrap and a contract to seal, while still feeding the daily work beast. So it's been difficult for me to believe that people aren't responding to emails, returning calls or replying to applications because it's "just the slow period," or "everyone's on vacation." Am I delusional to be taking this non-communication personal?

What's the holiday hold-up people!?!? (said the true Appleite.)

The Apple is spinning, and I'm trying to keep up and stay productive while still counting down the days to see Superman this weekend.

I think that maybe once Superman comes around I'll be able to focus and bang out those two chapters, and get that script written -- all in a days work, right?

But secretly I know that when we're together the world can spin all it wants.

I won't give a hoot.

Hope your holidays also hold you up from the demands and deadlines!

Ugly Day... Or Two. Maybe Three. Maybe Week.

Caution: You're about to enter the pity pow wow.

I'm on Day 3 of having an Ugly day.

You know what I'm talking about. I look gross. I feel like a disaster in the making. Whatever I do to myself is just not working. I'm coming up on a deadline for a project I haven't even started yet. And I probably can't look you in the face.

I'm Eeyore to the Nth degree. Because ugly day is turning into ugly week -- and someone needs to put an end to this. ASAP. Especially since giving up is beginning to sound tempting... (What's happening to me!???)

Confessions of a Workaholic

Confession: I am a workaholic.

Lately I have:

• forgone a personal social life and enveloped myself in a purely work-related social life.
• invited friends to hang out at my office instead of one of the bajilion hot spots in the Apple.
• neglected posting about the fun holiday "goings on's" because I've been working.
• spent more time drafting to-do lists, business plans, and contracts than taking my new tennis shoes to the gym. 
• contemplated turning one wall of our home into a white board.
• convinced Gatto to be my assistant.

Sick Day

I've been quiet lately. No Apple anecdotes. No photos of the 'goings ons'.

Trust me, there's been 'goings ons.'

While I'm grateful for all things that have come my way so far, there have been a few disappointments lately that have really knocked the wind out of my sails.

I'm not one to entertain at the pity party, so let's skip the deets.

Let's just think of this lull as a workaholic's sick leave. Meaning, I've been excusing out of fun, so I can work. A lot. All day. Every day. Sometimes I'm late to work because I'm working.

Bare with me while I pick myself back up and remember what fun means again. With a photo or two. Soon. I promise.

I'm Ready

Dear God,

I know I have mentioned to You numerous times that because of my inherent fear of failure I have a fear of success. And I know that You have responded many times -- often in unsuspecting ways -- that when the moment is right, I will not be afraid.

But I wonder whether not being afraid means the moment is right. Because I'm ready.

A new adventure, a new opportunity, a 'yes' instead of a 'no,' a door just barely staying open to close and a new one to open -- something that will totally sweep me out of my comfort zone and into a wild new world. I'm ready.

I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready.

Let's Move

I hardly ever talk about work here. Ever. I talk about writing. But that's not work. That's love. 

But tonight, let's talk shop. Apple style. 

In the Apple, a job can kill. Honest to goodness. Only here have I heard the phrase, "heart attack job." You get it -- the stress,the stakes, the 24/7 of it all.  Sometimes, we forget why we came to this city in the first place: to succeed by doing what we love! 

I don't believe in success, in the sense that it doesn't just happen. I believe in calculated success. At some point, we have to pave our own way. If there are no hard decisions, if there are no crossroads, there can be no success. But it can be so easy to lose track of that and instead jump on the rat wheel of come what may -- a slow, painful crise cardiaque of the soul.

Over the past month and a half, as I've been shifting into a different role at work, I realized I was feeling some work/life "chest pains." What I felt I loved felt more like work - and not in the good way. As a successful woman who truly believes that you are your own CEO, I needed to make an executive decision. Fast. 

So I did. I chose my life and love over an opportunity that would have landed me an angioplasty before age 30.

And I am all the more happy for it. Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not slowing down. In fact, stepping off the nonsense wheel and stripping away the "busy work" has set me on a faster, more productive, path. The truth is: sometimes saying No to the things you don't want will make it easier to say Yes to the things you do. 

Besides my full-time work, I sealed two new project contracts that will challenge me in positive ways. I worked really hard to get them, and I'm glad to see my efforts pay off. Now the real work -- the work that matters to me -- starts. 

In the Apple, if you ain't movin, you're standing still.