Dispatches from a go-gettin journalist. Because not all Army wives live behind the lines...

Friday, April 27, 2012

Do You Think About 17?

When you think about me, 
Do you think about 17? 
Do you think about my old jeep
Think about those stars in the sky
Funny how a melody 
Sounds like a memory 
Like the soundtrack to a July Saturday night... 

I was driving home a few days ago and this song came on the radio. It took me right back to 17. And how I was so in love with a boy that I was so sure I was going to marry. 

I didn't marry him. 

I was so sure that I would stay connected with him for the rest of my life. 

I'm not. In fact, I'm not even sure where he is now. I know though, that he's married to someone else. 

And that's okay. 

Because at 17, there was no one else. It was probably the most carefree year of our life. There was a jeep. There were July Saturday nights. And looking back there are so many innocent good feelings about all of it. Mix tapes. 

I know there are so many of us who have married our childhood best friends, our high school sweethearts, even our middle school sweethearts. 

I am so glad I didn't. 

I needed the time to grow and change, even though it was a hard landing. I didn't know then that I needed all things Superman. I needed Army. I needed Apple. I needed Bean. I needed Blue. I needed all things Superman. I needed this life right here. 

I do look back sometimes and think about where we both are now, and how things may have been different. Not in a pining way. But more of a way of reminding myself that there's a lot of things I don't know. If you asked me at 17 where I would be today, I would've never formed the thought enough to say "Army." Or "Superman."

I have a feeling that I won't be able to shape the answer to that same question now when I look back in another decade. 

I did bump into him a few years ago, when Superman and I were engaged. When you come off a hard landing, there are so many things you think of saying or doing when you happen run into each other again. Maybe out of anger, maybe because Destiny's Child sang that you should. But I didn't do any of that. I couldn't. I had Superman and I really felt like I'm the one that made out in that situation. I felt like I had everything. I still do. 

Thank you, 17, for existing so that I could feel this way now. 

(The best part of this performance is Keith Urban singing along.)

He gets it. ;)

But here's the official video 
I bumped into you by happenstance 
You wouldn't even know who I am
But if I whispered your name 
I bet there'd still be a spark... 

No comments:

Post a Comment