I have an incredible fear of change.
I know it may not seem like it since I'm continually changing states, changing hairstyles, and heck, I'm even married to the military, which brings about change faster than we can blink sometimes!
But every so often I stop to think about the changes that are happening all around me that I can't control and I experience a terrible bout of anxiety - even if they're happy changes.
Trigger for this conversation: My cousin just had a baby. While I'm totally ecstatic that my family is growing, I think about how often we used to see each other (all the time!). And how we made our first music video together. And then I think about the last time I saw her -- 2 years ago. And how much is changing and much I'm missing. I think about how fast life is passing by and how important it is to keep ties with family and friends.
My family is changing, my friends are changing, and all I can think about is how much I'm trying to keep track of it all and understand that we're not going to stay young forever. But I also think about how much I'm trying to stay involved in all this change, but it's tough to keep up!
I know it's just unreasonable to think that everyone and everything won't change, and we can all just be the "way we were." But I haven't been able to shake the fear the change. I've been feeling this urge lately to just travel across the country to visit all of my family and friends that are somewhere else. I want to keep us all together!
Do you have a fear of change? How do you quell your fear?